“If only I had the motivation to keep going”

In this blog, Specialist Pain Physiotherapist, Ben Whybrow, explains why so often when motivation dwindles, progress stops (and what you can do about it!).

“If only I had the motivation to keep going” 

This is often a phrase you hear people say when they begin to lose momentum on the new fitness regime or diet they started. Even with the best intentions to improve our own health and wellbeing, relying purely on motivation for changing your lifestyle is often eventually a losing effort as priorities in life alter and changes don’t come at the speed we would like. 

Motivation and conscious effort is very necessary for starting a new lifestyle change. But for helping it stick in the long term we need something that will help sub-consciously, so that we do it automatically without having to think about it at all, and therefore don’t need to rely on motivation.

This is where effective habits come in. 

Earlier this year I had the pleasure of speaking to staff at Flippin Pain & Cora Health about behaviour change, including what does and doesn’t work in the long term. This blog covers what we discussed about habits and how they can help make long term changes we want to make stick, without having to rely on motivation. 

If we think of the daily habits we do, one that hopefully everyone reading does, is brushing our teeth every day. When starting out as a child you may have been encouraged, supported or coerced into brushing your teeth by your parents which helped motivate you to start, but now I suspect you just do this automatically whilst instead thinking about other things. This habit gives us a good insight into what makes changes we want to make, more likely to stick.

Where

Having a location in which you repeatedly do a behaviour is one way of helping it become subconscious. You most likely brush your teeth in the bathroom, sleep in your bedroom and eat your meals in the kitchen or dining room. We attribute activities to certain environments.

So, can you attribute a location for your pain management activities? 

Which room would be most peaceful to do regular formal relaxation or meditation? 

Where would be the best place for you to be active? This may be a room in the house, a local gym or a walking route around your house. 

When

Those daily subconscious behaviours that we tie to specific locations also usually occur at similar times of the day, every day. We brush our teeth morning and evening, we sleep at night (usually) and eat lunch in the middle of the day. Having mental timetables when we do certain activities takes away the need for motivation and allows us to focus on other things.  

When would be the quietest time of day to do the relaxation? 

When do you feel you have the most energy to do the activity or exercise? 

Trying to determine this can be tricky and uncertain, but the last part helps us with this. 

After What

Terms like “habit stacking”, “priming” or others are all terms used to describe a similar principle. A new behaviour is more likely to stick when we do it immediately after something we already do regularly.

You may brush your teeth immediately after you have breakfast or wash your face at night. After you sit down in the car, you immediately put your seatbelt on, without even consciously thinking about doing it.

Knowing what the activity is that you’ll do before the new behaviour, helps to know when to do it as well.  

If relaxation is best done immediately after you’ve made your first cup of tea in the day, then the morning is probably the best time. 

If going to the gym or walking is best done immediately after you finish work, it’s probably best done in the afternoon. 

Put the Where, When and After What together and you’ll get something like this: 

In the morning, immediately after I make my cup of tea, I will do my ten minutes of meditation in the living room.  

In the evening, immediately after doing the washing up, I will go for a paced 15-minute walk around the block.  

Of course, your habit plan will be individual to you depending on your goals and life needs.  

Whilst the framework above is key, you could also do the following to increase the chances it sticks:

If the new behaviour requires any tools or resources, make sure it is within eyesight and easy to access.

Your toothbrush probably lives in a place near the sink where you can easily see it and reach for it. Placing the tools or resources in easy to see and accessible locations takes away the need for motivation or extra effort, meaning we are more likely to do it subconsciously.  

Could the headphones for meditation be on a shelf you can easily see and access? 

Could the gym bag be on your car seat so you can see and grab it after work? 

We also repeat behaviours that give us positive feelings, so if the new behaviour you want to do can achieve this, it is more likely to stick.

After the relaxation, do you get a feeling of calm? After being active, do you get a feeling of accomplishment? After socialising with friends, do you get a feeling of joy? If not, what could you add to this or do alongside it to get that positive feeling?

The important part is that it is a positive feeling. Sadly “rewards” like food or money do not have the same effect, as once they go away we generally stop doing the behaviour. 

As I mentioned at the start, motivation and drive act as a catalyst to help us start something new. But as these naturally fade, using a habit plan like above will make these behaviours more likely to stick in the long term. 

If you’d like to know more, many people I know recommend the book “Atomic Habits”, by James Clear. This is a useful read, but my personal recommendation is “Tiny Habits”, by BJ Fogg. If you really want to go into detail, you can read “Good Habits, Bad Habits”, by Professor Wendy Wood. 

To hear more from me, you can listen to my podcast, Clinical Communication.

Happy habit stacking!

By Ben Whybrow, Specialist Pain Physiotherapist & Communication Skills Educator